Some Chandler Family Pictures

1980

1982

1984

1993

These were taken years later, after Jared and Chandler joined the family.

Boys

I mentioned that it was really Emily who started my 5ish year long crush on Ronny Bjarnason. I was a weird teenager. I'll say that right from the get go. Most teens go from crush to crush, from interest to interest. Not me. I met Ronny in 8th grade, and I hopelessly crushed on him until my senior year of high school. I think that probably the reason why I held on that long is that I also had this huge fear of ever saying what I felt. There is no way on earth or in heaven that I would have ever told him I liked him. Oh, I'm sure he knew. I'm sure he heard it from my friends. But I would never admit it, and I would never ever do anything about it except pine away and pour my heart out to my journals. If I had not been so gripped by the fear of owning my feelings, I probably would have moved on from him much sooner. As it was, I protected my little crush and just let it grow.


I did have small little crushes on other boys, and they came and went, but Ronny was always my ideal. He was my Gilbert. Except that he wasn't. I just needed more time to figure that out, apparently.


My senior year I started hanging out with the group of foreign exchange students, and a handful of kids who like me, were just ordinary students. (Ha ha, what's the opposite of foreign exchange students? Domestic students?) That was a great time in my life, because I felt like I fit in so well with these kids. Not that I didn't fit in with the church kids, they just weren't my friends in the same way. My new group of friends was still a group of really good kids, and we had a lot of good clean fun together. My standards were no secret, so anyone who did have contrary standards never involved me in them. So it all worked out.


By far, my best friend in the group was Stefan, who was from Germany, and I fell hard for him. The biggest reason is that he was so good to me. And he was good for me. We spent so much time together, in school and out of school, and he was just so comfortable to be with. The only time we were apart at school was when we were in different classes. And then, we would write letters to each other and fold them in that cool way that teenagers used to have, and then we'd exchange them between classes. But before school, during lunch and at break, we were together. If neither of us had after school commitments, we walked home together. I enjoyed his company so much. We were never officially anything, but unofficially we were everything. He would come to family celebrations and dinners and other things with me. We went on a trip to San Francisco together, for a day of fun. Our school senior trip was Grad Night at Disneyland. We all piled into the charter busses, and headed down to SoCal, and went straight to Wild Bills for dinner and a show. Then, late that night, Disneyland closed for the general public and opened for Grad Night. We played in Disneyland all night, and then in the morning we got back on the busses and headed home. I adored Grad Night, and didn't want it to end, and it was all because I was with the best guy friend I had ever had. We talked and laughed and held hands, and just had the time off our lives. At the end of the school year, we were standing outside his house late at night, after hanging out, waiting for my parents to pick me up. In a few days he was leaving to go back to Germany, and I was heartsick. It was there, out on the sidewalk, where he kissed me for the first and only time. It was a really sweet time in my life, and that year really made high school for me.


Stefan left, and went back to his girlfriend in Germany (who I did know about, the whole time I knew him), and that was that. He came back to visit during my first year of teaching. It was great to see him, but it was never the same as it was that magical senior year. He came back again after Chandler was born, and visited my little family. He was in Turlock on a medical internship. I remember that his flight was scheduled to leave on September 11, 2001, and his stay ended up being extended because of the terrorist attacks. Such a crazy time. A few years later, I got a letter from him telling me that he and his girlfriend had a little baby they named Norah. I have no idea if they ever got married, and I have never heard from him since.


Ronny got married to a girl he met at BYU, who I have never met, but seems to be a really great girl, and a wonderful match for him.


And then there's me, and I'm sure I'm the happiest of us all, because I got Jared, and there is nobody in this world who could be so right for me. As the days go by and the years unfold, our connection and our love for each other deepens and grows. I am thankful every day for the gift and blessing he is in my life, and I still sometimes find myself in awe of his love for me. And if I had it all to do over again, I would choose Jared every time.

American Field Service

American Field Service was the name of the club that was all about the foreign exchange students. I think Senior year is the only time I was ever in this club, and it was probably my favorite club of all in high school, just because I got so many good friends and lasting memories out of it. These are the pictures I have of my best group of friends senior year.

Here we are at lunch. I have no idea who was taking the picture, probably Lauri. I thought it was really funny that Stefan thought he was getting out of the picture, when he wasn't even close to having a chance of getting out. Ha ha! Phil is the guy in the jean jacket, but he was from Belgium. Then there's Stefan, then me. That's Maggie Baker standing up, and Jorgen Burglund from Sweden behind Maggie.

Lauri DiNatali. I really liked her, she was a lot of fun.

Stefan and Maggie. He was obviously making some obvious point to her, and she was reacting. Just looking at this picture takes me back to some great, great times.

Gustaf Jarder, from Sweden.

Stefan, Maggie and Jorgen

Jorgen and Maggie

Stefan and Me in San Francisco

The Year I Missed the Prom

During my junior year, I had a fleeting crush on a boy in my stake named Joseph Berryhill. I don’t really know why, because I didn’t know him all that well at all. I do know that he was one of the nicest guys I had ever met in my whole life, and he was fun to be with. There was nothing about him that hinted I would never be good enough for a Berryhill. Don’t get me wrong, I was still completely infatuated with Ronny Bjarnason, but let’s face it. I kind of subconsciously knew that would never happen, because a Chandler would never be good enough for a Bjarnason. (I did get that impression quite frequently, and while it wasn’t enough to cure the infatuation, it did allow me to have shallow little temporary crushes on other boys sometimes).

Joseph lived in Ceres, and went to a different high school than I did. And for some reason, I got it in my head that I would ask him to my junior prom. So I did, and he said yes. He was my first date. We went in a group with all the other Mormon kids, and it was okay. It definitely was not as fun as it would have been if I had gone with someone I actually knew better. I was absolutely not an outgoing kind of person, so there was an element of awkwardness about the whole thing.

The real prom zinger was my Senior year. I was head over heels for Stefan, and he and I were best friends. Being with him was easy, talking to him was easy, hanging out with him was always, always fun. We were not ever officially anything, but everyone knew we were just best friends. I just took it as a given that we would go to prom together.

But one day he mentioned to me that he was going to prom with my friend Lauri. I was dumbfounded! What?! I was hurt and confused. He told me that our friend Richard had told him that he was going roller skating with me the night of prom, and then Lauri asked him, so he said yes. Later I found out that Lauri (who was Richard’s best friend, but Richard was gay, so not a candidate for prom date) convinced Richard to tell Stefan I was going skating with him so that he would say yes when Lauri asked him to prom. What a double cross! I was stabbed in the back, and it hurt. Stefan said to just leave it, and he would go with Lauri, but after prom he would drop her off and hang out with me at his house. So that’s what we did.

Nothing ever came of Lauri and Stefan. She got to go to prom with him, but I won’t deny it felt great, after he went back to Germany, to tell her that he kissed me. For a split second, she had that super jealous look on her face. And then she recovered herself and never admitted that it burned.

Oh, high school.